An Old Value

“My door is always open. My house is safe. Coffee can be on in minutes, and the kitchen table is a place of peace and non-judgment. Anyone who needs to chat is welcome. It’s no good suffering in silence. We have food in the fridge, coffee and tea in the cupboard, and listening ears, shoulders to cry on and prayer to share. This is an old value that has been lost to technology … a text, FaceTime, or emoji is not the equivalent of making time for those we love or care about!”

I wish I’d said that. That was a recent post on my friend’s Facebook page. That “old value” is pretty much what it means to be human. We are created for companionship, community. Facebook, Instagram, I don’t know what others, they are not “communities”, let alone companionship. They are solitude. They are solitary individuals sitting in front of a computer screen. They are the equivalent of the once-a-year Christmas letter that used to go out to family, friends and acquaintances. They are not a replacement for that old value.

When we first moved to Texas we leased a little house in a subdivision. I was grateful it had a fenced backyard, because I could let the dog out to play. I could throw tennis balls and let her run without driving seven miles to the dog park every day. The fence was six feet tall. I’m five feet three inches.

Mike died about a year-and-a-half after we moved there, and I was lonely. I spent a lot of time in the backyard with Bayley, throwing balls. Sometimes they went over the fence into the yard behind us. There was a nice lady who lived there who I used to catch glimpses of when she’d come out onto her back porch. She always threw the balls back and I’d thank her whenever I saw her. Do you know how hard it is to hold any kind of a conversation across a six-foot cedar-plank fence? I bought flowers for her once to express my thanks, but I never could connect with her. I regret not getting the chance to know her.

People are so busy these days. Community and companionship are becoming a lost art. No one wants, or thinks, they have the time to just “visit”. I miss dropping by my mom’s house on the way home from work, sitting out on her patio and having coffee and a long conversation about nothing at all. There’s no post, text or emoji that can replace the laughter that rings out when somebody makes a funny remark, the tears shared over a loss, or the hugs and excitement of a celebration. A prayer emoji won’t console a sufferer the way the touch of a human hand will. A text won’t convey the sound of encouragement and hope from a friend’s spoken words. Things are said on social media that would we would never say to someone’s face.

A long leisurely face-to-face chat, a lunch or dinner with good people, good food and good talk can lift your spirits for days. That old value is precious. Take, or make, the time to enjoy and appreciate it.

Traveling Circus

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